Conflict Management Styles

Have you ever thought about how you deal with conflict? We each tend to have our own styles. Jill Barr and Lesley Dowding talk about five styles in their book, 'Leadership in Health Care.' 1. Avoidance: A person withdraws from the situation. They ignore complaints and do not discuss it. 2. Competing: A person uses power to dominate and ignores the needs of others. This is usually a “win-lose” situation. 3. Accommodating: A person surrenders to a stronger party. They are usually quick to give in to avoid conflict. 4. Compromising: A person negotiates and there is an attempt to meet on middle ground. This is a “win-win.” 5. Collaborating: People try to find a solution that is acceptable and of benefit to everyone.There is open, effective communication and problem-solving. This often has the best long term results.

There may be times when different styles are used at different times at work.

Take some time to honestly review what your style tends to be. Do you think there is room for improvement? If you are an Avoider or Accommodator, it may be worthwhile to seek a mentor or take a course on becoming more comfortable with being assertive. Do you tend to use a Competing style? Again, it may be time to try one of the other styles of Compromising or Collaborating, depending on the situation. Leadership involves ongoing learning and growth to bless others and the organization!

Taking Proverbs to Work: Trust God & Take Care Physically

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3: 5-6)

As a working woman, you are likely involved in many things: work, travel, preparation for

meetings, thinking (or agonizing) about work situations, caring for family, looking after a home, and many other regular activities. As you consider the last week (or month), when was the last time you exercised? If you have been regularly exercising: well done!!! If not, it is time to put it on your list of things to do and schedule it. Looking after yourself may be way down on the list of things you need to do. And, sometimes, the things way down on the list are never completed.

We need to look after ourselves to have the physical energy, clarity of mind, and patience to be efficient and peaceful. Maybe we could call it: peaceful efficiency or efficiently peaceful!

Research tells us that we should be involved in at least 150 minutes of aerobic activity per week and do strengthening exercises two to three times per week. Regular activity sometimes gets put to the side when we become too busy.

Stressful and busy times can cause much tension, as well as the release of stress hormones and therefore, exercise is a key management strategy for this.

Consider a situation where you have an issue to deal with at work or a difficult decision to

make. At the moment, I am working with a staff member to help with time management

strategies. It is somewhat stressful as I try to balance teaching a better way of doing things with someone who has a solid work ethic. I want to improve a situation in a supportive, caring manner as it is important to me that the staff member always understands how valuable they are.

I can keep thinking about the best way of handling this, but I have decided to trust God, put the situation in His Hands, and commit the process and outcome to Him. I realize that this has been stressful as I care about the problem,the person involved and feel the surrounding emotions. One of the best things I could have done was to go for a walk, pray about it, and give it to God. In that way, I trust God to direct my path and get rid of excess energy since I am exercising while dealing with an issue. This is undoubtedly much better and healthier than trying to solve it when I should be sleeping.

Exercise is a healthy way of dealing with a difficult time. If exercise is usually a part of your

regular activities, make sure you take time to continue your program. This can be difficult if

there is a lot you need to do, think about, and organize, but it is crucial to keep up your strength and decrease the stress hormones circulating in your body. If exercise is not a regular part of your life, consider going for a walk or doing some other activity that you enjoy. You will benefit from the exercise from a physical perspective. And, this is a great time to be talking with God about what is on your mind.

Two main aspects of being physically healthy are to get 150 minutes of aerobic activity per week or about 30 minutes per day, five days per week. Look at your calendar today and schedule time for a walk or run. If you have not been doing any aerobic activity, then even starting with once in the week is terrific as it is a start of getting healthier. In your walk or run, talk to God about something you need to trust Him with. He will direct your path.

Taking This to God in Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for always being with me, no matter what I am going through. thank You that I can trust You in all circumstances and give situation over to You. Please give me the discipline to look after myself physically when I do not see it as a priority or feel I have so much else to do. Thank You for the privilege of being Your workmanship, and please help me to honor what You have made.In Jesus' Name, Amen.

May God richly bless you this week as you steward what He has provided to you. And that

includes looking after yourself!

Bonny, Christian Women at Work

Four Steps to Guilt-Free Communication – Part 4: God, Part of Every Conversation

Have you ever thought about God listening in on your conversations? Would it change what you say and how you say it?

This past week, I spoke to one of our staff about a conversation they had with a client. It seemed this conversation kept on going "around in circles." You know the ones... when each person keeps repeating the same thing and someone does not appear to be listening (or listening well). As we spoke, it appeared that they both had valid comments but opposite opinions. In addition, it became more evident to me that the client was fearful. And their fear may have been keeping him from being able to understand what the staff member was saying. In these circumstances, someone needs to stop speaking and concentrate on listening.

As I talked to the staff member, who had been trying hard to help the client understand he was better, she recognized that fear was probably a significant component and should have addressed it. At his next appointment, she will address this with him.

This exchange caused me to reflect on these kinds of conversations which do not go well. I wonder - in those circumstances, what would happen if we stopped and recognized that God is listening in on the conversation? Would He be pleased with what we were saying, and how we were saying it? Would we hear Him say, "Don't just listen to the words, listen to the heart. You are missing something."

This coming week, try to think of your conversations as being Kingdom Conversations. What do we mean by that? As we are part of His Kingdom, we want to act, react, and interact the way God would like us to, including our business discussions and everyday chats. Envision that God is right next to you, listening to what you are saying:

• Are you demonstrating the fruit of the spirit?

• Are you patient, or boastful and proud?

• Are you showing respect for the person and listening to their perspective?

• Are you kind, even though you may be delivering bad news?

• Are your words and your heart going to please God?

“May the words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)

Consistently trying to remember God is listening to our discussions helps keep us accountable to Him. However, there is also a second aspect to God being part of every conversation: we are also blessed to know that we also have a Counsellor in every conversation. God is listening but also wants to help us.

• The Holy Spirit is our lifeline in difficult conversations, and we can ask for wisdom, guidance, and counsel as we prepare for our discussions or are in the middle of them.

• The Holy Spirit gives us power, the words to say, and boldness to speak them.

• The Holy Spirit reveals things to us, warns us, and helps us in our weaknesses.

• We need to ask for Holy Spirit's counsel and wisdom. Do you remember to ask?

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God?” (1 Corinthians 6:19)

At the beginning of each day, ask God to remind you how He is part of every conversation and ask Holy Spirit for wisdom as you enter every new discussions.

God bless you as you try to make more and more of your conversations "Kingdom Conversations" and may it be a wonderful week!

Bonny, Christian Women at Work